Why some people change and others don’t and how you can take control of your life by removing autopilot

Choosing to believe that life happens to you and you can’t do anything about it is giving away your power and control over the experience of your life. Choosing not to act when you have the choice to act and change your situation is like giving away your freedom and giving up on your dreams. You give away not only your dream but also your happiness. So, the question is what do you choose, do you choose to believe you are a victim of life and it happens to you without you being able to change anything, or do you choose to do whatever you can to take action whether mentally or physically and start owning your power to control your experience of life and design your reality? Today we discuss how to get out of autopilot and take control of your life back.

We live most of our lives on autopilot

We choose to cruise a long and let life lead the way. We give run on patterns of thought and habit for years without even being aware of it. We allow our emotions to control our actions and we allow our thoughts and interpretation of what happens to define our reality. We are unwilling or unable to invest energy to make changes, to use our potential to change and control our experience of life. So, we decide to run on autopilot, we decide following habits rather than investing energy towards manifesting new patterns is the best way to go. Following autopilot means following very familiar patterns. Which is much more efficient for the brain because it requires less energy. Our brain is designed to opt for the path of least resistance and most security which means it discards taking risks and trying new things. It does want to invest as little energy as possible and automate as much as possible. Whether it is in our best interest or not. On autopilot, we don’t question where those habits come from or whether or not they serve us. We simply perform them because we are used to perform them. In doing so the thought that underlying things are just the way they are and thus life happens to us and we can’t control anything becomes dominant. We come to believe that this is the way we are built. Our reality isn’t something we have control over and life happens to us without us having any say in it. Our brain aims to stay in its comfort zone to do what it has always done, to avoid uncertainty and to prevent us from failure, mistakes, challenges, pain and hurt. That is why we are scared to take a chance and move away from old habits, that is why we are afraid to quit our jobs and focus on our own business, that is why we don’t want to go traveling and even meet new people, because it’s different and it is scary.

When things get tough, or even only when we are not conscious enough we tend to give away the control over our life and switched to autopilot. We start to believe that there is nothing we can do about the situation so we started to not do anything about it. And that is why our live goes the way it does. That is why we end up unhappy, miserable and without purpose in it. Of course, we make the most out of it and do something that brings pleasure but we do not do something physically to change our situation. We use our time wisely and make the most out of it and to be honest, there are periods where we really cannot do anything about the situation. But even once we can do something about it we to decided not to because we are already living on autopilot and are not able to change quickly enough. We lost agility and resilience and we let outside circumstances and temporary powerlessness trick us into believing this is who we are and how we are meant to live our lives. Let me tell you: IT IS NOT!

Life does not happen to you!

It is always easier to pretend like we can’t do anything to change the situation and thus choose not to act rather than to act towards change. Saying you can’t do anything about it or saying you don’t want to do anything about it are two different things.

Saying you can’t means giving away your power. Saying you don’t want to mean you are making that choice. But making this choice not to do something also means you no longer have the right to complain about your situation. Because if you really want things to change you have to choose to do something about it and take action.

It is always easier to say we can’t do anything about it than devoting the energy to change something. But if we constantly tell ourselves we can’t do anything about it we give away our power and control over our life. While if we consciously tell ourselves that we choose not to act that’s a total different story. It’s okay to choose not to act but know that if you want to gain back true control over life and own your power than you eventually need to act and get out of autopilot mode.

Change requires energy and stepping out of autopilot and taking charge of your life requires energy as well. However, it is possible, neuroscience shows us that we can take control of our minds by rewriting our brain pathways to make lasting positive change to our lives and thus live a more joyful and meaningful life. That’s why it’s so important to engage in self-discovery and coaching.

We need to take control of our mind and our life back and stop living on autopilot. We did it for too long and it made us miserable so now we need to stop thinking we can’t do anything about how things are and need to stop believing that life happens to us and instead make a choice and decide to do something about it. We need to act upon the changes we resist to make like going away again, working a different job, focusing on your business, meeting new people and seeing friends, literally everything that’s different of how we live life now we need to do, starting with daily adventures!

So, we give away control over our life by starting to believe that it is controlled through outside forces which it is at times but then it is not again. And that is why awareness and consciousness and constantly reflecting is key, because once we realise that we have given up our power to design our life, once we understand that we have fallen into autopilot, we can change something. Then it is time to decide to take action. Massive action. We need to decide to design our life like we wanted it to look like again, we need to start to paint a picture of how we wanted our life to look like, no matter if it is perceived as possible or not by yourself or others. We just visualize it and then acted upon making as much of this plan come true as possible.

This is the only true way of regaining your power and control over your experience of life. 

Surrender and switching to autopilot aren’t the same

Surrender means to accept and to let go of the emotion and resistance while at the same time asking oneself what there could be done to change the situation or to change oneself within the situation. Running on autopilot is switching to the believe that just because things are the way they are, one cannot do anything about it. We always have a choice to react differently and thus initiate change. Surrender gives us the ability to choose change. If we would hold on to resistance and non-acceptance and self putty we would not be able to change anything because we would simply not see the opportunities for change. If we run on autopilot we might be happier because there is no resistance any more, however we are still not in control of our destiny because we miss out on the opportunities for change since our consciousness is switched off. However, if we choose to surrender we not only let go of the negativity and resistance the circumstance might have brought to our lives but we also open ourselves up to discover opportunities for change. It is hard to surrender and choose change. It is a lot easier to surrender and switch to autopilot because it requires less energy and effort. But if we do so we will sooner or later become miserable and give control over our lives away. However, if we are willing to devote some energy to think about way in which we can make the best out of the situation and turn its faith around by either changing our plans overall or adjusting them and finding new ways to make them happen. There is always something we can do, maybe not in the short term, but in the long run for sure. We might not always like the other path and the choices we have, but they are options and we need to choose one of them. We need to choose action to introduce change and regain control over our experience of life.

Paint a picture you like to see

It is important though to not only start painting that picture again and taking massive action. But also, to train our mind to not be discouraged if not everything worked out the way we want to. It doesn’t mean you are failing with designing your life or that control got taken away from you. It is simply a lesson you needed to learn and a point in this journey where flexibility, resilience and agility is demanded. You need to see those points simple stones put in your way that you can could overcome if you would only be flexible enough to adjust your plans and travel a different route.

It is okay to run on autopilot for some time. We might need this break from life and from manifesting because we are exhausted. At the end of 2019 I was very tired and exhausted from living my dream because I was constantly busy doing things and devoted so much energy to maintain a good and stable inner world with all the adversity that comes from living your dream. At the same time, I constantly hustled to act upon goals and awareness and that made me feel very exhausted and ready for a break. I hadn’t had a break for a year So it was easy for me to go into autopilot mode. Being in autopilot is comfortable and nice because you are just causing along without doing anything. And if you are not desperately unhappy that’s not such a bad place to be in until you turn 50 and ask yourself where did my life go and what did I make out of it. That is why at some point you need to take action to get out of autopilot. It is okay to stay in it for a while to take a breather and relax. Know that It’s always easier to choose not to act than to take action because action requires energy and we might not always be ready or committed enough to invest this energy. But change doesn’t come by itself, we need to be active, we need to make change happen otherwise life stays exactly as it is. We might be able to learn to surrender to life’s circumstances and learn to live with them but getting out of autopilot and into the driving seat of your life requires action!

Here’s my autopilot story

A few days ago, I realised something really important about my year. I realised that I was living on autopilot. I was so exhausted from all the years of working towards my goals, and from taking risks, from always being vulnerable and present and engaged in life that I needed a break. I know it sounds ridiculous but when I first got home last year I was relieved that I finally had security, comfort and calm in my life. I was on a constant adventure for the past 6 years and it was tiring. I totally enjoyed it, but I didn’t make the time to relax and be mindful so I really enjoyed once I could do this. I knew 6 months were enough and by the end of those 6 months I was ready to take on life again. But the universe had other plans. The happening of covid lead me to face big personal struggles. I was used to always making things happen and now all of a sudden I wasn’t able any more at least not immediately. But instead of focusing on the moment when I was able to do so again and being open for the many opportunities in which I could still work towards my dreams I just decided to surrender (in a negative way) and started to believe my life was controlled by outside circumstances. Which was never the case. Yet this limiting belief lead me to live the rest of the life on autopilot. Instead of believing that there was always something I could do and that I could still be in control of my reality and future I decided I had to wait until all of this was over- and waiting I did. I cruised on autopilot. Lived life passively and thus was unhappy and unsatisfied with where I was and how I was living my life. I felt powerless and frustrated and I did not know what to do. Yet the solution was so close. It took me several months to understand that one crucial thing. I was on autopilot and by believing my life was controlled by outside circumstances and I couldn’t do something about to yet make my dreams come true in those new circumstances, I gave away my power and control over my life, Once I understood that I hadn’t been actively participating in life in the past months I had what I needed to take back control and own my power and thus change my reality. I understood that first I needed to believe that I was still in control and that despite the circumstances there is always a way to make my dreams come true and I do not have to wait for the future to do so. Second I needed to get out of autopilot and actively participate in life, I needed to commit to my goals, show up for my dreams and make some sacrifices and take some risks and finally put in the effort again to make things happen for myself. And lastly, I needed to remain confident and open for what was to come. I needed to be flexible and remain in a positive abundant mindset towards whatever happens and continue taking action no matter what’s going to happen. To keep at it and adjust if needed but follow the path.

Ever since then my life had changed. I didn’t immediately act upon it since sometimes such big awareness we have needs time to sink in and to take on form in the brain as new neural pathways. Sometimes we can’t immediately act upon your wisdom because the neural pathways haven’t formed yet so we need to give ourselves time to process, to let it sink in and to visualise how our new reality with this awareness could look like. We need to remain firm with ourselves though and take the leap of faith when it is time, we need to take it sooner than later and take action otherwise this will remain an unused insight. Though I believe if the insight was transformation knowledge will make you act sooner or later. Once you know something so crucial there is no turning back.

How to get out of autopilot

The escape plan:

1) Realize that you are in autopilot mode by recognising mentioned thought patterns such as “this is just the way I am”, “I can’t do anything about this”, “live keeps happening to me and never for me”, “why me again”, “I can’t change this”.

2) Engage in self-discovery or coaching to find out what makes you think this way

3) Work towards a better mindset including agility, resilience and flexibility

4) Introduce challenge and change through learning new things

5) Start to paint a picture of who you want to live your life

6) Use mentoring and goal setting as tools to create an action plan and indicate action steps

7) Do little things on a daily basis to introduce change

8) Invest psychic energy to manifest your dream life